


Silent Protest

by Elektra Pendragon (elekdragon)



Category: Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Genre: Gen, Humor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2002-10-11
Updated: 2002-10-11
Packaged: 2017-10-15 05:04:51
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,210
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/157309
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/elekdragon/pseuds/Elektra%20Pendragon
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Xander has a new shirt, and wants everyone to look at it for a specific reason.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Silent Protest

Researching Demons. Nine times out of nine, if you entered the library, you'd find at least half the Scooby gang researching demons. Already Xander could see Giles moving between stacks, his eyes quickly glancing down spines and evaluating the contents without ever cracking it open. Several books were piled neatly on the table, just waiting to be leafed through. He could make a joke about judging a book...but that would be too easy. Not tonight. Tonight, he was silent guy.

He'd let his shirt speak for him.

Sitting down next to Willow, he nodded, accepting the heavy, leather-bound, dust-covered, evil-smelling collection of ancient wisdom that she nudged in his direction. Just like the saying said, the spine cracked under Xander's fingers as he eased open the edge. A little puff of more evil-smell sizzled up from the pages, like the skull-and-crossbones breath of poison you always see in cartoons. He was going to make a joke about a bad feeling, but he kept his cool.

Silent guy. Speaking shirt.

The language was fairly readable. Almost a third of the words looked Englishy, with a nice sprinkle of Latinish-rune-ish, and a squirt of fresh Demony flavor to round it out. Acting nonchalant, Xander stretched out his arms, turning in his seat a little towards Willow to fully display the shirt.

Someone must have slipped a little Demon-porn into the Braun Online Occult Translations Index; Willow didn't look, even when Xander added in an extra little yawn, and a few arm-squeaks. After waving them like a chicken, Xander put down his arms and leaned back over his book. He was going to make a BOOTI joke, but not just yet.

Silent protest meant no speaking.

Giles emerged from the bookstack maze with a few more items piled in his arms. He set them down on the table shortly before setting himself into a chair opposite of Xander. Xander could see his glasses over the piles between them, but Giles was looking down, not up. And definitely not at the shirt. He was going to say hi, or maybe take off his shirt and wave it like a flag, but he stayed quiet. Just waiting.

They couldn't ignore him forever. He had the demony-zest book. Filled with ancient cooking secrets. Eventually someone would have to take it from him and actually read it.

Tick tick tick tick...Tock. Tick tick tick tick tick...Tock.

Eventually, time would slow down to a point where the hands of the clock would actually be going backwards. At which point, a soul-sucking demon would pop out of the floor and try to eat everybody. Which would bring Buffy, which just might get someone to notice his shirt.

Here demon demon demon...

The click-clack BANG of the doors to the library opening was surprisingly not-loud in the silence of the library. Xander was concentrated on the clock above the door, and had seen the shadows coming just moments before Buffy and Dead-boy burst through the door. Expecting a demon, or perhaps Cordelia, Xander wasn't surprised to see them rush into the library. He sat up straight in his chair, and puffed out his chest.

Realized that made him look like a plucked chicken. He unpuffed.

Realized that made him look like a sunken-in chicken. He settled for Leaning Back Casually In My Chair. With Arms Crossed On Chest.

No, bad. Covers words.

With Arms Dangling.

No, that made him look like a monkey-chicken.

With One Arm Casually Cocked Above Book Of Powerful Demons And Other Arm Behind Back, With Thumb Caught In Belt Loop.

He was going to make a joke about using "cocked" in a sentence, but he didn't. Because no one was looking at him anyways. They were all crowded around Buffy, sharing breathless information at a rapid pace.

Xander stood and edged around the outside of the crowd, looking interested in whatever Dead-boy was adding to the conversation. Using his uncanny mental powers, Xander willed someone to look at him. Then he remembered he didn't have mental powers, and stopped glaring at Giles' ear.

The huddle almost over, the gang prepared to break for the play that would win the game. Unable to control his overwhelming urge to say something, anything, that was burbling in his brain--and screw Silent Protest--Xander nodded his head enthusiastically and shouted out, "Let's panty-raid that demon party!"

At least it got everyone's attention.

Giles was the first to notice. He adjusted his glasses, looking down at Xander's chest. Helpfully, Xander held his hands behind his back. The material tightened across his chest, letting the plain black words stand out from the white background. He resolutely told himself that it wasn't a ploy to get Giles to ogle his chest, and no one would think that.

Well, Dead-boy might, but he was ogling with everyone else, so NOW who was the pervert, huh?

Giles brought his hand down from adjusting his glasses and stuck it in his pocket, fiddling with something. "Yes, very funny, indeed." A little half-giggle from him, if a stuffy English librarian-watcher guy could be said to giggle. Maybe it was a bit of a chuff. Or ah...whatchamacallit. You know, one of those funny British words that always sounded a bit dirty but were said with a perfect accent and dryness that made you know it wasn't.

Dead-boy nearly rolled his eyes, that weird, dry, deep not-laughter rippling in his throat.

Willow squinted a bit at first, leaning closer. Then she stood up straight and laughed out loud.

Not holding back his own smile, he pointed his shirt at Buffy.

"I don't get it." Buffy didn't get it. Which just made him smile more, and prove his point. She tried Willow's trick of squinting, and read the words out loud. "Si hock legger sis nummy-um eridontis habies?"

"Si hoc legere scis numium eruditionis habes," Giles rattled off quickly, as easily as one would sneeze. It was silent for a beat, while no one chirped up a translation.

"Well, we have demons to slay, so let's get slaying," Xander said, making shoo-ing motions towards Buffy.

She looked around at the amused faces of the others. "It's something dirty, isn't it?" she asked suspiciously, her pretty little brow wrinkling.

"Yes, I think we should be going," Giles agreed with Xander. "Demons and all that."

"Is it about me?" Buffy asked, adding a little warning glare towards Xander just in case.

"Oh, yes, demons. Slay. Slay-er. Leaving now," Willow added, edging towards the door.

"It's one of those British things, isn't it?" she asked Dead-boy, no doubt assuring herself mentally that it was nothing important.

"It's--" everyone looked desperately at Dead-boy. "It's one of those library things. Though I don't know how Xander got a hold of it."

Buffy huffed her shoulders, trusting that Angel wouldn't lead her wrong. "Oh, okay. Demons now." She instantly went into Dangerous Mode, which made her look really big and scary despite still being small and cute.

In a little parade, everyone filed out of the library. Xander wasn't quite sure what evil they were going to face, but he felt incredibly self-satisfied. Silent Protest a success.

T-shirt: one, Buffster: forty-two. At least he was one step closer to getting even.

**Author's Note:**

> Latin quote found by Sandy, who was looking at amusing .sig lines. It means, "If you can read this, you're overeducated."


End file.
